where C, I, B and E stand for Contributions, Income, Benefits and Expenses respectively.
My ex-son is intellectually too lazy to imagine how hard his former father had to study to become a professional, if he was always womanizing at the same time.
Now he is one of those thinking-disabled, immature grownups who can't read, let alone write, a message any longer than 140 characters. But to make his short text long enough for communication between human beings, the bastard wanted to say: "Who cares? After all you deserve all this predicament because you have disowned us just because we don't defy the basic rules of this community and ditched my poor mother just because she had brought us up into people persons that you call conformists."
I didn't respond because I knew there's nothing in common between our sets of criteria for affordability and priorities.
I divorced his mother 35 years ago. At that time I was forced by her and her father to pay at least 40 million yen in cash and real estate. My ex-father-in-law was a small-time yakuza, previously peddling illegal substance. And now his metal-scrapping business was on the verge of going under. They said the money would be used mainly for the education of the kids. But years later I learned they deliberately punked me.
On top of the initial alimony, I spent an aggregate several millions during the subsequent 20 years especially to support my biological elderly son and his mother who was habitually getting her hand on the cash in her employer's safe until the next time the auditor would come in.
Eventually my ex-son dropped out of the School of Science and Technology at Gunma University because the guy thought it wouldn't be affordable anymore to go on pursuing his studies of information technology.
After he dropped out of school, the owner of a micro-company, who had been his high school senior, hired him at a fire-sale price. But the moment he got a job there, his maternal granduncle asked him to cosign as the guarantor when applying for a 15-million bank loan. The borrower had no intention to repay from the beginning. As a result, my ex-son had to file for personal bankruptcy several years ago after a protracted litigation.
The guy didn't learn a lesson from all this in part because he didn't have to. If he still learned anything, he rediscovered a magic to turn an unaffordable life into an affordable one. Every Japanese knows how it works.
To that end he first landed a position at the above-mentioned dad-and-son company which is actually a second-layer subcontractor of a major construction firm, or firms. Since then he has been doing more harm than good to his poor employer. At one time, he was named the prime suspect by the police and the owner when cash was stolen from the company safe although they didn't know his mother had been doing the same thing habitually.
Last Friday I took a long train ride to have a clandestine meeting with the owner of the company. I just wanted to find out why my ex-son hasn't been sued or fired by now.
He confided to me that the debt balance of his company is 70 million whereas its capital stock is as small as 10 million. A mortgage must have been placed on his private property, But that doesn't make the company's balance sheet shape any better. The owner seems to be too ignorant to understand the serious implication of a negative equity situation. He just insinuated that his company would be much better off if he were able to rid it of my biological son.
My ex-son can't read company books if they are kept with the double-entry accounting method as stipulated by the Commercial Code. But at the end of our meeting, I had an impression that the incompetent company owner is being blackmailed by the rogue I carelessly fathered over some irregularities and all he can do with that is to neutralize the blackmailer in one way or the other.
The next thing my offspring did to the same end when he was in his late-30s is to get married to a senior divorcee who had been kicked out by her former husband and child, or children. By that time he seemed to have decided to put all the blame on me for his miserable life, or make me always subjected to the severest possible punishment. To him this broad was an ideal mate because the surest way to unduly punish his parent was to punish himself.
Soon after the marriage, or possibly prior to it, she developed a "refractory illness" named CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) and became wheelchair-bound. By now it's evident her disease is 120% psychogenic. i.e. totally fake. But nevertheless her husband succeeded in getting her a handsome disability pension. As my son admitted at that time, the annual amount is more than 2 million yen, a little smaller than my pension, whereas the premiums she had paid from her paychecks were, at most, 10% of mine. In this weird kleptocracy of the people, by the people, for the people, they call it income redistribution.
Thanks to these nanny-state measures, they now find everything they want to afford more or less affordable. For one thing it's more than just affordable for them to feed their 2 Pomeranians with decent food their ex-father can't afford. This is essentially how most Japanese adults make their worthless lives affordable.
It's a couple of years ago I last visited their place. While pretending to listen to me, my son held tight one of his castrated dogs and concentrated on doing something to it. Then he looked my way with a creepy grin to show me the dog's penis which he'd caused to erect. This is his way of doing a symbolic masturbation to make up for the sexual unavailability of his mate, or incompetence of his own.
This is when I finally concluded I shouldn't have fathered him, or any child for that matter, in this rotten country. Most Japanese fathers cherish their offspring as if they were his doppelgangers. But since my reproduction activity was solely driven by the instinct for creative evolution, I never told my kids specifically which way to go. That's why they kept complaining I was intellectually too demanding.
To me it was a Long Goodbye which kept tormenting me almost for four decades.
On my part nothing is readily affordable.
All I can do is to save 1,180 yen every time the bandage the unskilled nurse wrapped around my injured arm loosens up by turning to either of the two kind women who have spontaneously volunteered to redo it on behalf of the nurse.
Last Saturday, the day after I visited the company owner, I met up with DK, one of the few male friends of mine. at a nearby coffee shop. I just wanted to talk about something Japanese macaques or American apes never want to talk about. We discussed a wide range of topics from music to creative evolution for more than 3 hours.
But when saying goodbye in front of the apartment building where I live, DK casually said, "Please feel free to let me know whenever you need a financial assistance." I know I should refrain from accepting his offer so lightly. But I'm afraid I can't rule out the possibility that I turn to him as the last resort once again.
Cancers are a different story. It would go against my principle to fight a battle, whether it's winnable or unwinnable, just for a mere subsistence. By the same token, I wouldn't allow anyone to tamper with my corpse. This is the last bastion of my dignity.
I might change my mind if and when the treatment by stimulus-triggered acquisition of pluripotency technology became affordable to everyone. But now it's abundantly clear that chances are remote for STAP cells to be commoditized in the next millennium. As I wrote almost two years ago, Yoshiki Sasai, the mentor of the ambitious stem-cell biologist named Haruko Obokata, was murdered, and subsequently Obokata herself was stripped of her doctorate by the despicable Nobel laureate named Shinya Yamanaka, et al. That's the end of the story.
The most serious problem facing me for now is the fact that there are very few "little ordinary things that everyone ought to do" but can't with one hand almost disabled.
As a fallout, I've been even more confined to bed, or what used to be a futon mattress to be more precise, despite the further worsening of sleep fragmentation. I didn't take a low-angle shot at the onlookers because my camera in the backpack had been thrown out of my reach at that time. But actually I didn't have to because their vacant eyes only filled with unforgettable hostility have haunted me ever since.
The other day when I was lying awake as I do most of the time, a funny idea flashed into my mind. I said to myself:
"Our ancestors, be it 'Australopithecines' or any other genus, made a serious mistake several million years ago when they opted for erect bipedalism. If we were still crawling around on our four limbs, we would be able to move more smoothly and we might have learned to run at the speed of 60 miles/hour like the cheetah. As a result we would never take a tumble when we were blown by a gusty wind of 78 miles/hour."
Take it easy, though. You needn't get on your hindfeet to discuss serious issues such as which bathroom a transgender ape should use.
It's been said they started practicing bipedalism primarily because they wanted to make tools and handle them with their forelegs. But did they have specific purposes in mind for which they were going to use these tools? Of course they didn't. So it was like putting the cart before the horse.
Time and again I have argued in this website the claim that Japan has successfully civilized, or modernized, herself since the 1850s is totally false. I don't think I was wrong. The Japanese have imported the Judeo-Christian civilization under the slogan of wakon yosai, translated as "Japanese spirit coupled with Western learning." In other words, they turned the relationship between means and end upside down from the beginning.
As a result this cultural wasteland is now inhabited by tens of millions of Samurais wearing a suit, which they call a Savile Row (to be pronounced Sebiro) and feudal serfs in jeans.
But now at the sight of the yawning gap between technologies and quality of life everywhere, I have realized the perpetual and pervasive inversion of means and end has its real origin in the fact that our distant ancestors started practicing erect bipedalism so prematurely.
I was thinking about concluding this post by adding something about my enthusiasm for relearning Russian, the language I learned more than 60 years ago as the third foreign language next to English and German. That's what I wanted to talk about more than anything else. But let me stop here for now because I feel too exhausted to go on.